JOTD

Randomly : I got my free got phone !!!!! * happy *

Just some jokes to share will all my readers~

A man and a friend are playing golf 1 day at their local golf course. 1 of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes,and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: Wow,that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I hve ever seen.
The man said: Yeah well we were married for 35 yrs ...

HE SAID, I SAID ... WHAT D'YA SAY?

HERE'S FOR A GOOD LAUGH~!

He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear underpants don't you?

He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened.


He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

I said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. . . A widow.

He said to me . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

SOUNDS FAMILIAR? HEARD IT FROM SOME ONE U KNOW? (^^,)

How to upsize your drink!?

Sharing this from 老查某
Watch & listen carefully ...

Wah lau eh...
Da Bei Zhou 大悲咒
LMAO~ \(^.^)/

Baby on earphone...

Listening to Fashionista... Again

RANDOM

One night while hanging out with friends, suddenly all the lamest jokes came out from one another. I dont know if it was the food, the drink or the air but we were having a good laugh though. I'm sorry because I cant really share all the jokes 'cos some may be offensive (^^, )

A: U know the Ang moh and ppl from 'Soh Lean' is arguing about who is smarter right ?

B: Yea...

A: The Ang Mohs spent millions on inventing a special pen where u can use it in outer space, they succeeded. So it was a great achievement to them. But guess what the 'Soh Lean' ppl use?


B: Hmmm...
C: *thinking ....* Paint?

A: No gravity in outter space how to paint ... the paint will all turn into small balls like paint balls laaaa... LOL

B: True also ... then wat?

A: Use Pencil la u idiot!

LOL

**** *** *** *** ***

A: Eh U all know or not? Bull Frogs are Hokkien ?? U all dunno right ....?

B: Isit ? How u know?

C: His pet la, must be ....

"kua ...kua... kua..."

A: No, U all duno? When rain the frog will tell u he is cold

B & C: Huh?! * blank*

A: they go 'kua ... kua... kua ....' Telling you its cold ma

*kua - in hokkien means cold

I know its lame but hey ... just for laughs!

J.O.T.D (V)

Top Four Adult Jokes

Fourth Place :

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me.'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'

Third Place :

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

Runner Up:

Bill worked in a pickle factory.
He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife co uld see at once that something was seriously wrong.
'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
'Yes, I did.' he replied.

'My God, Bill, what20happened?'

'I got fired.'
'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
'Oh...she got fired too.'

~* Winner *~

A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly r eplied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal